“What are you eating?”
“Crystals.”
“Why are you eating crystals?”
“I was talking to this lady in the shop that always smells funny in town. You know, the one that sells baggy clothes and carpet.”
“The Bazaar Bargain?”
“Yeah, that one. Well, the lady, right? She was telling me about how all the crystals she was selling could, like, change stuff about my life. There were ones that could cure my sicknesses, could rebalance something inside of me with a funny name, and there was one that could get me laid!”
“There was a crystal specifically designed to get you laid?”
“Well, she said it might help me be luckier in love, and that’s like the same thing, right? Anyway, I bought all of them.”
“You bought all of the lady’s crystals?”
“Yeah man.”
“And you’ve been eating them?”
“Yeah. That’s what you’re meant to do with them.”
“No, you’re not. You’re meant to hold them or rub them on yourself. Something like that.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Oh.”
“Stop eating them.”
“But what if they still work from inside of me?”
“They won’t. That one isn’t even one of the magic sort of crystal. You’re just chewing a fancy wine glass.”
“Yeah, I ran out of the ones that the lady gave me so I got these at the car boot sale going on at the church.”
“You’re bleeding heavily.”
“I know.”
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