"You know, when I have kids, I'm never gonna sing them nursery rhymes."
"Why?" I asked, dreading the answer. She's always been like this.
"Because they're dangerous."
"How exactly are they dangerous?"
"They give us unrealistic expectations. I mean, think about it, every guy you've ever gone out with, you've dumped because he wasn't perfect. Right?"
"Well...yeah."
"And that would be fine, except nobody's perfect."
"Okay, I don't dump guys because they're not perfect. I dump them because they're no good. I don't freak out over little things like he only wants two kids and I'm having three, regardless of what my husband wants. You remember Scott? He was gay. That's a perfectly legitimate reason to break up with a guy."
"And Ben?"
"Can we please not talk about Ben?"
"Fine, whatever," she said, waving her hands dismissively. "The thing is, nursery rhymes give you unrealistic expectations and then you don't know how to function in a real relationship. You don't know how to compromise, you expect Mr Perfect to stroll right into your life and then be perfect forever. And it's not healthy."
"What about Luke?"
"We're not talking about me."
"We're always talking about you," I said. "Didn't you break up with Luke because he wore odd socks? They were both black, but one was a slightly different black to the other? And when you told him you couldn't see him anymore because of the odd socks, he pointed out that he only did it because you'd previously said that you couldn't spend time with a man who wore shoes without socks."
"It's gross."
"But it was a ridiculous reason to dump him."
"Whatever. So I'm the perfect example of my point. Nursery rhymes are dangerous."
"Yeah, I think maybe you mean fairy-tales," I said, and that shut her up.
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