Tricia didn't know it, but Jon had been in love with her for several years. Jon had decided Tricia didn't really need to know, because the idea of expressing his feelings about her made him feel ever so faintly ill. Frustration, he felt, was better than rejection. However, one evening in June he found himself full of Courage--- not to mention numerous other ales that he had been steadily sinking over a seven hour drinking session.
It was around eight in the evening when Tricia entered the bar. Jon was half-way through pint number nine when he noticed her. He knew he had to play it cool, and immediately stumbled towards her with all the grace and elegance of a new born foal.
'Tricia' he said, slurring slightly. 'You are so beautiful I want to tear my eyes out of my skull and set on them on fire.'
Tricia, obviously stunned by this bold and eloquent declaration of romantic affection, ignored Jon and joined her friends at a nearby table. Shortly afterwards Jon heard very loud and raucous laughter. He didn't mind--- he'd made progress. She knows who I am!
Several days later Jon received a letter. It was from Tricia. He opened it with nervous excitement and read the message over and over again. He took long sniffs of the paper. It smelled of her. Jon carefully folded the letter, tied it with an elegant red ribbon, and placed it gently in the box with his other romantic correspondence.
Jon vowed to show Tricia just how deeply he cared for her by respecting her formal request to stay at least one hundred yeards away from her at all times.
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