Unsaid Things by Solomon Blaze

I’ve always loved bonfires; ever since I was a kid I’d grab whatever stuff I thought was tacky or that people wouldn’t care about – which they almost always did – and setting them on fire in the back garden.

It’s actually gotten me into some pretty big trouble twice (prior to this).

I wish they’d stop screaming though...it just causes a scene.

It’s her fault anyway!

~ You totally botched this, you useless fuck; you couldn’t even burn a building right ~

‘Shut up!’ I shout at the voice in my head; it cackles madly; dizzyingly...

Sooner or later one of the bridesmaids comes running out of the church’s front doors, a banshee of flaming violet fabric.

I just shoot her; I’m not really in the mood for gaes.

~Oooohooohooo niiice ~ says the voice.

‘Hmmm...’ I moan ponderously ‘I wonder what sort of trouble I’d get into for burning a church, filled with the guests to my ex-wife’s wedding...’

The church roof caves in;

The screaming stops.

Finally!