High Society by Kim Warren

“Alright alright, I personally believe that green and orange go well together but whatever.”

Jed flicked his hair over his shoulder and flounced back into the changing room, leaving Mark massaging his temporal lobe.

“I still don’t see why I have to go to this stupid thing anyway,” Jed’s high pitched voiced projected over the rail of the curtain, causing Mark’s headache to increase.

“Because it’s my rehearsal dinner and I want my brother there, even if he does look like a bubble gum explosion most of the time.”

“I’ll have you know,” Jed announced reappearing in the room, “I wear nothing but designer.” He turned on the spot, examining the suit in the mirror. “Now you can’t complain at this.” He turned to face Mark, who was sitting with his eyebrows raised.

“Jed.... you cannot go in a pure white suite.”

“Why?” He whined, stamping his foot like a three year old.

“Because I said so, now go and put on the suit I picked for you.”

Sticking his nose in the air, Jed stumped back into the changing room and pulled the curtain shut.

“You’ve changed you know, ever since you met that girl. You’ve gone all posh and presentable. You never used to care about how you looked, or how I looked for that matter.” Mark let out a sigh.

“It’s not her, it’s her family. They’re very upper class and I don’t want to start this marriage with them thinking we aren’t good enough. We can prove that to them after the wedding.”

“Marcus Anthony Yates,” Jed screamed flying out from behind the curtain, this time only wearing his boxers. “Don’t you dare think you are not good enough for this girl, she is lucky to have such a loving devoted man in her life and I’ll tell you this now! Tomorrow night we are going to show them just how upper class we can be, then they’ll be wondering if they are good enough for us” He then turned to present the room with the giant hole that was ripped into the back of his underwear and strutted back into the cubical.

* * *

The room was abuzz with excitement and pleasant chatter as the two families were finally introduced after two years of their children dating.

“Mark darling,” Susan’s mother called across the room. “Your parents are a delight,” she beamed at him as he moved to stand next to his father. “Why on earth have we not been introduced before?”

“Yes Mark, why has it taken until the day before your wedding?” his mother asked with a touch of ice in her voice. She had been bugging him to meet the Rickwoods since he first brought Susan home to meet them.

“Well,” he laughed, “I thought this way there is no time for anything to go wrong.” His audience laughed politely while Mark took a swig from his glass and gave the room a nervous glance. Still no sign of Jed, he wasn’t sure whether this was a good thing or not. He had promised to buy a proper suit when Mark left the shop to get back to work but his brother wasn’t famous for sticking to his word. Mark felt himself start to sweat a little at the thought of Jed turning up in parachute pants and a vest, he had a feeling his future in-laws would call off the wedding there and then.

“Hi everyone, sorry we’re late,” Mark swung around at the sound of his brothers voice and felt his draw drop. Jed was standing before him wearing none other than a tux, complete with bow tie and had a very pretty blonde girl, wearing a full length ball gown, holding his arm. Now the several months that Jed had spent living in his big brothers spare room after the coming out conversation had taken place with their parents, made Mark question the purpose of the women standing before him. However he was unable to bring this query into the world as the appearance of Jed looking like a proper English gentleman had left him speechless.

“Jed,” his mother managed to squeak. “You’re looking very, “she paused, “handsome.”

“Well thank you very much mother,” Jed answered in a voice that was most defiantly not his own, “and might I say you are looking simply lovely this evening.” He leant forward and kissed his mother’s hand, while she eyed him suspiciously. Luckily for everyone involved, Mr and Mrs Rickwood seemed oblivious to the shock that surrounded them and looked at Jed with expressions of delight.

“And you must be Susan’s mother,” Jed suddenly announced swooping down to kiss her hand as well, while she giggled like a school girl. “Only you could have passed down such beauty to Susan.” Mrs Rickwood blushed, deep scarlet, as Jed shook her husband’s hand.

“Oh, and of course may I present to you all, the lovely Miss Elle Gold,” Elle Gold glided forward to take Jed’s hand and actually curtsied to her audience.

“It is so nice to finally meet you all,” she sang, putting on display a set of perfect teeth. “My fiancé has told me all about you...” Mark could stand it no more.

“JED,” he barked at his brother, “may I have a word.”

“Pray, excuse me.” He bowed to the Rickwoods and strutted past Mark towards the bar. Mark waited only until they were out of ear shot before exploding.

“What are you up to? He snapped, gripping his brother’s arm.

“I’m making an upper class impression,” he scoffed, turning his nose up.

“Stop that,” Mark snarled, “you are deliberately taking the mick out of them, to their faces. You promised to behave.”

“I think I am behaving more than adequately, you said this event was upper class and I am conforming to that theme, as I shall do tomorrow for the theme of the wedding. Now if you can excuse me, my fake fiancé is in need of a drink.” He strutted off back towards where their parents still stood in shock, leaving Mark in a state of panic as he remembered that the wedding theme, was Hollywood.