Friends with Kids by Carolyn Glass

I never realised how much I hated kids, not kids in general, I mean the ones I’m forced to spend time with, because their parents are my friends.

It wasn’t too bad at the start, new babies are pretty quiet, and you can take them to parties and just leave them in the bedroom and check on them now and then.

Then when they get a bit bigger, you can’t really do that anymore, so you end up having to go to places that are “child friendly” or even worse, having to go to their homes because it’s awkward for them to go out because they can’t get a babysitter.

I mean let’s be honest, child friendly just means no place for normal people, and homes with small children or babies are no place for normal people either.

Today was the final straw, I was asked to hold a screaming infant (who needed a nappy change) while his parent sorted out the demented toddler who had just been refused more chocolate. As soon as I got home, I founded a new site on the internet; No parents allowed; a meeting place for sane individuals to seek sanctuary from friends with kids. I’m sure it will be a hit.

Friends with Kids by Lesley Whyte

"So, what do we have planned for the weekend?"

"Well, Marcy's boy is having his Christening on Saturday morning, then we're supposed to skip out early to go to lunch with Helen and Joel to celebrate their upcoming bundle of joy. Saturday afternoon, we have to go buy a gift for Lena, and we'll have to spend a lot of money because her college friend is getting her the pushchair. You know, the one I showed you online? They don't even talk anymore. We're going to have to really step up our game. I was Googling for ideas all day, but I've got nothing. Anyway, it's her co-ed baby shower on Saturday evening, so we both get to go. Which is kind of nice, actually, and it means we only have to give one gift, unlike at Sarah's shower, when she and Ethan expected separate gifts at their stupid separate parties. And then there's Sunday, which is just-"

"You want to go away this weekend?"

"We can't. People are expecting-"

"So tell them I surprised you. Blame me, I don't care."

"I...really?"

"Yeah. I'm thinking somewhere with a beach that serves cocktails."

Day Twenty-Seven

And today's prompt is...

Friends with Kids