They’re coming. You’ll see. They’re coming. And when they come, you’d better be prepared. Who knows what sort of technology they’ll have. Stun guns and laser beams and zappy weaponry that will make humans just evaporate. We’re so behind, they’ve got billions of years of experience on us. We think we’re so forward thinking, so technologically minded, so smart, it’ll never happen. That’s what you think, isn’t it? That it’ll never happen. Well, let me tell you something. It’ll happen. It’s already happening. Can’t you see it? It’s everywhere, all the time. They’re watching us. Always. We need to get preparing, we need to protect ourselves. I won’t let them take me. I won’t. They’ll creep into our houses in the middle of the night and take our children, our women, and torture them, experiment on them. I know, I’ve read about it. We need to start now, before it’s too late. Arm ourselves. I’ve built myself a bunker in the garden. There’s a secret doorway in the floor, underneath my – I shouldn’t have told you that. I shouldn’t have told you that. Pretend you didn’t hear that. If you tell anyone, I’ll kill you. I’ll sneak up on you and rip your heart out. I mean it, I’ll do it. Don’t think I won’t, because I will. Unless you’re one of them. My God, you’re one of them, aren’t you? You can read my thoughts, can’t you? You’re making me tell you about the door to my bunker under the rockery, aren’t you? Jesus, you’re good. Oh-ho-ho, you’re good. I could be good, too. I could help you. I’ve believed in you my whole life, even when people told me I was mad, even when the boys at school kicked my head in, even when Mum had me stay in that hospital for a month for evaluation. I knew. I’ve always known. I’ve got a sixth sense, I think. I could help you. We could be great, you know. I know things. I know loads of things. Take me with you!
