Friends with Kids by Carolyn Glass

I never realised how much I hated kids, not kids in general, I mean the ones I’m forced to spend time with, because their parents are my friends.

It wasn’t too bad at the start, new babies are pretty quiet, and you can take them to parties and just leave them in the bedroom and check on them now and then.

Then when they get a bit bigger, you can’t really do that anymore, so you end up having to go to places that are “child friendly” or even worse, having to go to their homes because it’s awkward for them to go out because they can’t get a babysitter.

I mean let’s be honest, child friendly just means no place for normal people, and homes with small children or babies are no place for normal people either.

Today was the final straw, I was asked to hold a screaming infant (who needed a nappy change) while his parent sorted out the demented toddler who had just been refused more chocolate. As soon as I got home, I founded a new site on the internet; No parents allowed; a meeting place for sane individuals to seek sanctuary from friends with kids. I’m sure it will be a hit.